In yoga class last night, my teacher talked about gratitude. About cultivating a feeling of gratitude in the moment.
The question or rather proposal posed in class was that it is a choice to feel grateful in a given moment. Yes, there are people in this world who are suffering and reasons to personally feel less than grateful for all of us. But, how does the opposite of gratitude or the lack of gratitude serve us or others? Also, that gratitude should be a feeling based on the present moment and not on objects of the past or future.
I have a hard time with this teaching. There is so much I feel grateful for in this world- people, places, memories, dreams, the present moment- at times. I also struggle with life: with people in the world who are suffering at present, with myself at present (especially on this particular day of feeling unwell physically) and the scars of my past and uncertainty of my future.
Given the suffering inherent in the world and given that yes, we should recognize that and work to do something about it, there does still seem to be the option to either smile and laugh or cry. Given things how they are I am unsure of whether it is better to be happy and gracious and joyful or to be grateful when the feeling arises. For me and for those for whom I interact, are we better served to exude steady positive feelings or to internally be with and externally reflect whatever the feeling is present at any particular moment.
What is the opposite of gratitude? My teacher proposed it to be: the "fire of a feeling that lacks gratitude". I fire that purifies and churns us and like all fires burns away and/or transforms that which is burning. What would be on the other side of allowing ourselves to not feel gracious when it is appropriate to do so (and when is it appropriate to do so?).
Is there a choice here? I discipline to apply to one's thoughts or one's feelings? Does it get easier with practice?
